Yeah, I get it: Conker's Bad Fur Day is mocking other games with so-called 'excuse plots'. Conker himself just wants to get home after a night on the town. He's got a hangover, he's tired - fair enough. Its the motivations of his nemesis, the Panther King, that provide the satire. Deep breath: The Panther King is incubating an alien inside his body. The alien requires milk to survive. The Panther King keeps spilling his milk because it rests on a table with a wonky leg. The leg in question is too short, so in order to balance the table, the Panther King needs an object the exact size of a red squirrel. Conker is a red squirrel. So, the Panther King spends the whole game trying to kidnap Conker to balance his table. Phew.